Dating is all about making connections between two individuals. Once a connection is established, it often leads to love and eventually to marriage. When your relationship is headed toward the altar and there are children already involved between either party or both parties, then you have to find ways to court your future stepchild. In this way, you are able to establish a connection and relationship wit them even if you are yet to propose to your partner.
Establishing a relationship with a future stepchild is less stressful and much easier on all parties involved when the partner is still the girlfriend or boyfriend of the parent in comparison to finally becoming a stepparent. If you are the partner who already has children, your partner should accept such a fact and understand that your children are part of you.
If your partner has children, here are some top tips to making your relationship with your stepchildren work.
• Avoid being Santa
It is a common mistake among future stepparents to shower their partner’s children with all the gifts that they can ever think of with the assumption that they can buy their affections. However, you have to know that children actually know when their love is being bought. They are wise enough to not fall for your bait, unfortunately.
Once you start doing this, another issue with children is that they will come to the point of always expecting gifts from you. And unless you are that rich, this will most likely put a big whole in your pocket. Or worse, you could be the reason why the making of a spoiled brat is on the way.
At the end of the day, you will be risking not achieving the results that you want, and your future stepchild will grow to resent you in your attempt to get their love with bribery. You will only be able to get the trust and affection of your stepchild if you take the time and effort to really establish a real relationship with them. You should never push it to them.
• Take an interest in the child
One of the most effective ways to connect with your future stepchild is to be interested in whatever things interest them. If the child will not talk about what they like, you can ask the biological parent about it. For example, if your stepchild is interested in animals, you can provide a good opportunity for bonding by taking them to a trip to the zoo.
Older children can be quite challenging though since there are fewer chances that you can bond with them. You may start helping them with their homework or paying some interest with a favorite video game of theirs. However, you may end up rejected, but at least you are starting at something.
• Involve the child with your interests
In the same way as you are taking an interest in the interests of your future stepchild, you can also get them involved with whatever it is that you are interested in. A child may already know a great deal about their biological parents in terms of their interests and have several chances of being involved with them. As the future stepparent, you can let the child become part of your life easier when you involve them with your interests.